


You Be the Prom Queen, , I'll Be the Malcontent

by Chash



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/F, M/M, Mentions of homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-30
Updated: 2011-06-30
Packaged: 2017-10-24 04:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/259184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years ago, Jared Padalecki's parents disowned him, and he moved to Boston to start over. He's got a decent life carved out for himself, until he starts talking to his crush, and he realizes there's still a lot he needs to deal with before he can really be the person he wants to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yay Big Bang! I am so glad I managed to get this written this year, but I cannot take all the credit! First off, thanks so much to [info]lulahtalks2much , who generously donated for Queensland and gave me the prompt for this fic. I had a blast writing it, and thank you so much for donating.
> 
> Thanks to [info]bflyw , for producing gorgeous art for me and putting up with my long periods of forgetting to e-mail her back due to school/illness/traveling/general incompetence. It was a pleasure to work with you! And everyone who is enjoying the PDF version of the fic can thank her for setting it up.
> 
> My good friend [info]pendrecarc betaed this for me, even though she is not in the fandom, because she is awesome. Any remaining errors are mine, but trust me, she saved you from some bad stuff.
> 
> And, of course, thanks to [info]wendy and [info]thehighwaywoman for running such an awesome challenge. :D
> 
> Click [here for the art masterpost](http://bflyw.livejournal.com/516455.html).

"Oh, man, Jared, get a load of _that one_ ," says Chad, in a voice that is not nearly low enough to be polite or, well, appropriate. Not that Jared is sure Chad knows what either of those words means in the first place.

"Indoor voice, Chad," he says, following where Chad is pointing. There's a pretty girl wearing a short skirt and high heels, and her legs do look great. Jared can appreciate that from an aesthetic standpoint, even if he doesn't think there's any need to be so vocal about it.

"We're outdoors, dumbass," Chad says, as if this is a valid argument.

"You're being gross. And impolite."

"If I went outside looking like that, I'd want to know guys appreciated my efforts to look like a hot ass. Not that her ass needs much work to make it hot, _damn_."

Not everyone on Jared's current construction crew is like this. It's mostly just Chad, who seems to have decided that every stereotype about construction workers heckling hot women is not only true, but a lofty goal to strive for. Jared mostly wants to beat him to death with his hard hat when he gets like this. Which is, admittedly, pretty much all the time. But the rest of the time, he's fun. Jared likes him. He just doesn't necessarily think anyone else should.

"If you went out looking like that, I would definitely appreciate your efforts," he says dryly, which is probably better than homicide. "You've got legs that just don't quit."

"Whatever, you'd totally hit this. I am a dreamboat. I make losers like you who can't get laid go totally homo. But I'm way too hot for you to have a chance with me anyway. I'm a heart breaker."

Jared hasn't come out yet, mostly because Chad's flippant comments about how Jared wants him are among the least offensive commentary he's heard on the site about homosexuals. Mitchell, for example, went on a rant about how the gays were shoving their lives in his face, never happy to just stay home, had to show their depravity off to good, god-fearing people.

So, yeah, Jared hasn't told his coworkers about his sexuality yet. It's a liberal city, but apparently construction work isn't the place to go for acceptance. At least, this particular site isn't. But he hasn't had much luck finding anything else that pays as well for his time commitment.

"You're right, Chad," Jared says, deadpan. "I'm overcome with lust. Will you get to work already?"

"I swear, Padalecki, your dick must have shriveled and died from disuse," says Chad, and a passing guy raises his eyebrows.

Jared turns beet red. Mostly because the guy--he's seen the guy a few times. Noticed him the way you notice people who are--well, your type. He's young-ish, probably in his early twenties, a few years older than Jared, with, for lack of a better term, a really pretty face.

There is just no way to correct your friend about how, yes, you _do_ have a dick, and it works fine, and it's not at all shriveled, in case anyone in the area is interested in dick. At least, not a way that doesn't involve you looking like a crazy person, and your friend mocking you, and the very pretty guy thinking you have some issues. And it's been a while since Jared's been the kind of guy who can talk about his dick and its preferences without turning bright red anyway.

"What did I say about work?" he asks instead, too loudly. "I swear to God, Chad, Imma duct-tape your mouth shut one of these days."

Pretty guy just keeps moving, and Jared sighs inwardly. The first sign he's ever had that the guy's noticed him, and Chad is telling him that his dick doesn't work. Not that there's anything he could have overheard that would magically make Jared romantically competent.

"My dick is _great_ ," Jared mutters, once Chad's not paying attention anymore.

No one hears him, but he feels very slightly better.

"Hey," says Misha, barely looking up from his video game when Jared comes in. "We need to do rent."

Jared groans. "Again? We just did rent."

"It's a monthly kind of thing," says Misha, turning his katamari with his whole body. Misha likes to really get into his video games. "I've got mine, you can leave yours on the table."

"Today?" asks Jared, feeling a little ill.

Misha finally pauses, looking over at Jared with concern. Most of the time, Misha is off in his own little world, doing whatever weird Misha things he does. But sometimes, he rejoins reality to be a decent human being. "Are you short?" he asks, tilting his head.

"Not if they don't cash it right away," Jared says, making a face. He rubs his forehead. One of his night classes is on Tuesday, and he always comes home exhausted and cranky. "They usually don't, right? I had to pay for transfer applications, I'm running a little low on funds."

"I can cover you," says Misha. "You can pay me after your next pay check, I've got enough in savings to cover it."

Misha is a grad student at Northeastern, getting his PhD in sociology. He's not exactly well off, but between loans and a variety of shady part time jobs, to say nothing of parental support, he's got a lot more disposable income than Jared does.

"You sure?" Jared asks. "I'll pay you back as soon as I can."

"I know you will," says Misha, sounding a little amused. "I know you're good for it." He scoots over on the couch, making room for Jared to flop down. "Long day, honey?" he asks, with a kissy face.

Jared flips him off absently. Misha knows he's gay and doesn't care; he just enjoys pretending they're married. It honestly makes Jared feel a lot better. "I hate straight boys. Your people suck."

"Please tell me you didn't hit on a homophobe," says Misha. "I wouldn't want you to finally start being social only to be brutally turned down."

"No, it's just Chad."

"Oh, _Chad_ ," says Misha, nodding. Jared has bitched enough about Chad that Misha understands their unique relationship--Jared likes the guy, and thinks he's fun, but also wants to kill him and throw his body in the river. "What's young squinty done this time?"

"Just being your stereotypical construction worker. Someday he's going to wolf whistle at the wrong girl and get his ass kicked, and I'm not going to stop it."

"As you shouldn't."

"And he made fun of me about not getting laid in front of a cute guy," Jared admits, which sounded much more legitimate in his head.

"And then did you get your period in the middle of gym class?"

"Fuck you."

Misha ruffles his hair. "Do you know this cute guy?"

"No," Jared says miserably. "I know _no_ cute guys. Chad's right, my dick is going to stop functioning."

"God, you're mopey."

"Sorry," says Jared. "I just--I used to be so _good_ with people. Back in high school, I could just--go up and talk to people I didn't know, make friends. And then--I stopped."

Misha knows most of Jared's sordid past--how he grew up in Texas, with a loving family and a good life. And then, his senior year of high school, he came out to his parents, they disowned him, and he ended up taking the bus as far as Boston, which was about when his money ran out. Finding Misha had been a godsend, and they've been living together for the last three years, through Misha graduating college and starting his PhD, and Jared settling into construction work and taking up night classes at a community college to try to work his way through his degree.

Misha understands Jared more than pretty much anyone else in the world.

"You know you have nothing to be ashamed of, don't you?" Misha asks, softly. "What you've done is incredible. Not everyone would have the strength to carry on like you have."

"I didn't have much choice," says Jared, but he feels a little better. He sighs. "Sometimes I think it would have been better to beg my parents to forgive me, tell them I'd change--just through college."

"I don't think so," says Misha calmly.

"No," Jared agrees. "Neither do I." He rubs his face, trying not to think about it too much. Three years, and it still hurts.

"Do you want to roll up as many women as you can?" Misha asks, offering the controller. "I know it isn't as appealing to you as it is to me, but still."

Jared laughs. "Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks."

"And if you're interested in becoming involved in any medical experiments, let me know. A new round just got posted."

"Legal ones through the school, or shady ones?"

"Both," says Misha placidly. "Whichever you'd prefer."

"Legal," says Jared, firmly.

"Wuss."

  


  


  


It's ass o'clock and Jared is exhausted, but Misha goes to school early on Thursdays, and Jared would rather have a ride in than the extra sleep. He usually hangs out at one of the campus coffee shops and does his reading, pretending that he's a student here and not one of the construction guys who works a few blocks over.

So when the guy in front of him in line turns and Jared catches his profile and realizes it's _the guy_ , the pretty guy, he decides that the universe is fucking with him. It's early, he's exhausted, he's got stubble, he's dressed for work, and this gorgeous man is in front of him, looking clean and polished and as if he _likes_ being awake.

The guy doesn't seem to notice Jared's slack-jawed horror; he just turns his head back and continues to wait in line.

Jared is hyper-aware of the stupidest shit. He can't stop thinking about what he's doing with his hands, his legs, his _mouth_. He's half afraid he will do something stupid and try to smell the guy's hair. He doesn't think it would even be particularly exciting to smell, he's just so sure he's going to fuck this up somehow.

"Morning, Jensen," says the barista, a guy Jared has seen before. He doesn't know _Jared's_ name.

"Morning, Aldis," the guy--Jensen--replies. He sounds less awake than he looks.

"Early class?" asks Aldis.

"Ha," says Jensen. "You know I don't have those. No, meeting an ensemble I might be playing with."

"Not if they have rehearsal this early."

"Before class," says Jensen, groaning as Aldis hands him his coffee. "You're a lifesaver, man. Remind me not to join this group."

"You got it."

Jared notices Jensen picking up an instrument case--violin, he guesses, or maybe viola--as he leaves the register, and tries not to stare.

"Morning," says Aldis. "What can I get you?"

 _Jensen's phone number_ , Jared thinks. _Or a bridge to throw myself off_. "Breakfast tea in the largest cup I can get, please," he says instead.

"You got it, my man," says Aldis.

Once he's got his drink, Jared tries not to scan the tables for Jensen, but it's a lost cause. And Jensen is gone anyway.

"Not pathetic _at all_ ," Jared mutters, and tries not to bang his head on the table.

  


  


  


Now that Jared has become aware of Jensen as more than just a pretty face, he feels like the guy is _everywhere_. It honestly kind of makes Jared feel like a creeper--he doesn't _mean_ to notice the guy whenever he passes, but he's gorgeous, and he mutters to himself, and he almost always has his violin, like it's an extension of his arm. Jared doesn't know how he didn't notice before.

Well, Jensen's face is pretty distracting. That's kind of an excuse.

He must be associated with the conservatory, Jared decides, because he always seems to be going between there and the train, or sometimes the coffee shop. He generally looks like he's in a hurry, and in his own world, and it's all Jared can do not to sigh dreamily when he passes. He half expects that butterflies surround him every time he looks at the guy.

Which is kind of confirmed by Chad a few days into his embarrassing stalking.

"Dude, just wolf whistle. It's a conversation starter."

"Huh?" asks Jared, jerking out of his own thoughts. He thought he was alone.

"So you're a homo, big deal," says Chad, waving his hand. "Dude is pretty and his ass doesn't quit, he totally wants to know you know that."

Jared chokes. "What?"

"You were totally staring at that guy," says Chad mildly.

"Yeah, but--wait, what?"

"Doesn't look at chicks," says Chad, ticking points off his finger. "Does look at dudes. Good hygiene. Sometimes wears pink. Yeah, Jared, you're definitely gay."

" _I_ know that," says Jared, flushing. He and Chad should have a conversation about stereotyping sometime. "When did you--I mean--what?"

"Dude, don't get your panties in a twist, I don't care. And no one else knows. You should probably try to wipe your mouth after Mr. Hotass passes, though. Not subtle."

Jared obeys without even thinking about it, although of course he isn't _actually_ drooling. Not that he'd be that surprised if he was. "Shit," he mutters.

"Seriously, man, it's cool with me. I feel so much better about you. I thought you were a eunuch or something."

Jared shoots him a glare. "You know you're kind of a horrible person, right?"

Chad shrugs. "Yeah. Why?"

Jared doesn't really have a follow-up to that. "Just checking."

"So, who's the guy?"

"Some guy," says Jared, a little defensively.

"He walks by a lot."

"How do _you_ know that?"

"I'm observant," says Chad. "I have hidden depths. Also, you always check him out."

"Right," says Jared, sighing. He glances around, but no one else is near them. "Okay, so, I was behind him in line at the coffee shop the other day, so I know his name is Jensen."

"Gay name, good sign."

"Yeah, I'm sure his parents named him that because they knew he'd turn out gay," Jared says, deadpan.

"What else? You google him?"

"No, I did not google him," says Jared. "What would I even google, _Jensen hot guy conservatory_?"

"Leave out _hot guy_ and put in _New England_ ," says Chad, like Jared is the weird one in this conversation. "For starters."

"I'm not googling him."

"Uh huh," says Chad. "Sure you're not."

  


  


  


Of course, now that Chad has put the idea in his head, Jared can't stop thinking about googling Jensen, even though it will be completely useless. But it's like trying not to think about a purple elephant, or whatever, and by the time he gets home from work, he's determined. He grabs his laptop--well, Misha's laptop that he inherited when Misha got a new one--and starts internet-stalking Jensen the pretty violinist.

"I am a horrible person," he says, without looking up, when Misha comes in.

"Obviously," Misha agrees helpfully. "Why?"

"Chad--"

"Chad telling you you're a horrible person is like a double negative," Misha points out. "It actually makes you a good person."

Jared laughs. "Thanks. But he actually figured out I'm gay, and told me I should google Jensen."

"And now you are," Misha supplies.

"I wasn't going to! But I couldn't stop thinking about it, and--yes, I am trying."

"And?"

"A few professors, but their _last_ names are Jensen, and I don't think he's a professor. And a PhD student, Jensen Ackles."

"What about him?"

Jared shrugs. "He exists?"

"Well, I'm glad he isn't some kind of bizarre hallucination," says Misha. "This is a little sad."

"I know," says Jared, sighing. "I--holy shit."

"Hm?" asks Misha.

"I found his facebook, and he--wow."

Jensen Ackles is definitely pretty Jensen, and there are these pictures Jared can see of him, one cuddled up to a tall, dark-haired man, and one where they're _kissing_.

Jensen Ackles is gay, and gorgeous, and has a hot boyfriend.

"Wow," says Misha, leaning over Jared's shoulder. "He _is_ pretty. And he knows Tom."

Jared jerks around to stare up at him. "You know that guy?"

"Tom Welling," he says, nodding. "He's a coach at Northeastern. We've met a few times."

"Really?"

"Yeah, baseball. And I happen to know he is currently single."

"Why do you know that?"

"Remember Michael?"

"Crazy Mike who hangs out by the coffee shop?" asks Jared. "The one who's not really homeless?"

"He's a performance artist." There's a pause. "Who acts like a homeless person. Anyway, he's been keeping me updated about Tom Welling, and his relationship status, because they dated in high school and he wants him back. It's this whole big thing."

"How do you know all this? Do you just know everyone?"

"We have coffee and he bitches. It's cathartic."

"Your life is weird."

"Anyway, your dream boy is single. Michael told me Tom and his ex broke up a few months ago."

"So why does he still have facebook pictures?" Jared asks. "Also, why do I _care_? He's out of my league. He's hot, he's probably rich, and I've never even _talked to him_." He groans. "I'm going crazy. I blame Chad."

"Deep breaths," says Misha, amused. "I'd say you should just try talking to him, but I worry your head would explode."

"I've never actually _been_ with a guy, remember?" Jared points out. "I came out, got disowned, and I've never even kissed a boy."

"Well, just let me know any time you want to, stud."

"I don't think Vicki would approve."

"You do not know my girlfriend very well," says Misha. He pats Jared on the shoulder. "Try not to worry so much. You seem convinced your past will make people less inclined to like you. It really won't."

Jared groans, rubbing his face. "I don't think that. I just--I wish I was still the kind of guy who talked to strangers on the street, you know?"

"You'll get there," Misha assures him. "Ideally with less stalking next time."

Jared can't help laughing. "Oh, screw you."

  


  


  


Jared is waiting for Misha to be finished with a late meeting at the coffee shop when he hears someone say, "Hey, can I sit with you?"

He looks up and it's _Jensen Ackles_ , and he's giving Jared a gorgeous, nervous smile.

"It's a zoo in here," Jensen adds, inclining his head. Jared has no real sense of how long he's been sitting there working, but it's apparently been long enough that the cafe really has gotten busy. And long enough that Jensen came in. And wants to _sit with him_.

"Oh, yeah, of course," says Jared, shaking his head a little when he realizes Jensen probably wants an answer. "Have a seat."

"Thanks," says Jensen, and Jared tries not to feel like the world's biggest creeper for knowing his name. That, at least, was a total accident. The rest of it is, admittedly, weird and stalkerish. But Chad was involved. It's not entirely Jared's fault.

"Yeah, of course," says Jared, and kicks himself because he _just said that_. "I didn't notice how crowded it had gotten."

Jensen smiles, all white teeth, and Jared wonders if he can discreetly check to make sure he's not drooling. "Yeah, I get caught up sometimes too." He cocks his head, looking at Jared as if for the first time. "Hey, I know you."

Jared's sure he flushes all over. "Um--really?"

"Sorry," says Jensen. "That was awkward. Just--I've seen you around. You work at the construction site across the street, right?"

If Jared wasn't bright red before, he is now. "Yeah," he admits. "I--yeah."

"I thought so," he says, smiling like he doesn't care what Jared does. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, no," says Jared. "It's not that. I've actually seen you around too, I just--" he ducks his head. "I kind of assume no one notices me."

"It's okay, I think everyone's like that," says Jensen. He extends his hand. "Sorry, I'm being rude, I'm Jensen. I assume your name isn't actually _hey, douchebag_?" he adds, with a twinkle in his eye.

"No," Jared admits, laughing and shaking Jensen's hand. "That's just Chad. He thinks everyone's name is _hey, douchebag_. I'm Jared."

"Well, nice to meet you, Jared."

"You too." His honesty gets the best of him, and he gives Jensen an awkward smile. "I actually knew your name was Jensen. I heard you and, uh, Aldis talking? A few days ago. I'm good with names."

Jensen grins. "You really have seen me around."

"You're kind of noticeable," Jared says, and thanks a higher power that his phone buzzes before Jensen can answer. "That's my roommate," he says apologetically, ignoring the call and figuring Misha will understand. "He's my ride home. But it was nice to meet you. Officially."

"You too," says Jensen, with a laugh that lights up his whole face. "I'll see you around, Jared."

"Yeah," says Jared, unable to keep from smiling back. "See you."

"You can talk about it," Vicki tells Jared, with a smile that makes him feel like she's taking notes. She's sitting in the back seat, and it feels weirdly like he has a studio audience watching him. Jared likes Misha's girlfriend--really, he does. He's just also slightly terrified of her. "Misha's filled me in about your emo."

"All of my emo?" Jared asks, warily.

"I do not have secrets from my other half," says Misha. "Mostly I just told her you were a creepy stalker and we laughed about it."

"Well, that makes me feel better," Jared mutters.

"So, what happened?" asks Misha. "You're _still_ red."

"I met Jensen," Jared says. "I mean, he sat with me. We talked."

"Did you tell him you stalked him?"

"Kind of. I told him I knew his name."

"And?"

"He thought it was funny. He noticed me too."

"Did you have sex?" asks Vicki.

" _No_!" says Jared, horrified.

"Jared is a virgin," Misha supplies. "He's not going to give it up in a coffee shop bathroom on the first date."

"Shut up," Jared grumbles. "We just talked. He's nice. I--shut _up_."

"So, you could friend him on Facebook now," says Vicki brightly.

"Great," Jared mutters. " _That_ wouldn't be weird."

  


  


  


Monday morning and Jared's in early again--Misha's schedule might kill him. He's attempting to finish his reading for class tonight when he hears someone say, "Oh, you drink tea, never mind," and glances up to see Jensen with two cups.

"Huh?" he asks. It's too early to really be functional.

Jensen flops down into the seat across from Jared without asking, which makes Jared's heart flutter a little. "The new guy made my drink with soy instead of milk, so they made me a new one and let me have the other one too. I was going to try to force it on you, but I don't know how you feel about froofy coffee drinks. It's peppermint," he adds.

"Oh," says Jared, perking up. "I like them, actually." He flushes, looking at his tea. "I just, um--"

Jensen laughs and slides the drink over. "Hey, you don't have to explain, I did the same thing my senior year of high school. I was convinced only girls could drink anything with foam in it, so I forced myself to have black coffee. Then I came out in college and decided I could drink whatever I wanted. Screw gender stereotypes."

Jared doesn't respond, mostly because he's too busy dwelling on the fact that a teabag only costs 75 cents, so it's the cheapest drink he can get and still be allowed to sit in here. Which wasn't really what Jensen did at all.

Jensen doesn't realize that's why he's quiet, though. "Oh, yeah, I'm gay," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "I forget not everyone knows that."

"Oh!" says Jared, suddenly figuring out what Jensen must have thought. "Oh, no, I wasn't offended." He manages a smile. "I am too, actually. Sorry, I was just thinking." It's not the first time he's told someone he's gay, but it still trips him up a little; he still expects it to go badly.

"Oh," says Jensen, relaxing and smiling. "Well, go ahead and take the drink, anyway," he says. "I don't want it going to waste."

"Thanks," says Jared, accepting with a smile.

"Do you always come in this early?" Jensen asks.

"God no," Jared says, and then flushes at his outburst. He doesn't much like mornings himself. "I live over in Allston, so it's a pain to come in on the train. I get rides from my roommate whenever I can. Which sometimes means getting up really early. But it's better than fighting with the T or the bus."

"Gotcha," says Jensen. "I'm actually on my way out, so I gotta go. But have a good day, man."

"Yeah," says Jared, smiling. "You too. And thanks for the coffee."

"Enjoy," says Jensen, and takes off with a wave.

Jared feels warm and fuzzy for the rest of the day. It's actually kind of pathetic.

  


  


  


"It's not like I expected him to instantly ask me out or anything, I didn't really think he would. But--I always kind of hoped when I met a cute boy and we both established we were gay, a date would follow," Jared says, sighing. Misha is leaving a little early today, which means he's willing to drive Jared all the way to Southie for class. Jared's pretty psyched.

"I have a novel suggestion," says Misha.

"Is it me asking him out?" Jared asks flatly.

"Ding ding ding," says Misha. "Give the boy a prize."

"I know," says Jared. "I know! I should. But--he could say no."

"That is the risk you run," says Misha, nodding. "However, if you never ask, he can't say yes either."

Jared sighs. He figured out he was gay without ever involving other boys. He's kissed a few girls and was wholly unimpressed, and went on a few dates that never ended with any kind of real spark on his side. And then in tenth grade, Greg Olsen transferred into his class, and Jared realized what happened when you were _actually_ attracted to someone, and a lot of things fell into place.

But he's never had a boyfriend, or even kissed a guy, and Jensen obviously has. Jared isn't sure he wants to deal with being a poor, inexperienced virgin with a guy like Jensen, who seems to have it all together.

"I know," he finally tells Misha. "I'm--thinking about it."

"Pretty much non-stop," Misha says, but he takes pity on Jared and changes the subject. "There's a psych study looking for males aged 18-25, I already gave them your name and e-mail address."

Jared perks up. "Yeah? What's the study?"

"Latent telepathy in humans. Very impressive." He snorts at Jared's dubious look. "Okay, I'm pretty sure it's bullshit, but it pays $50 for an hour of testing, so I thought you'd be interested."

"Very interested," says Jared, grinning. "There's nothing better than schools with research funds to burn."

"Amen to that," says Misha, and Jared resolves to use some of the money to get his roommate an awesome present.

  


  


  


"Okay," says Chad. "So what you need to do is start going to things he's gonna be at."

Jared didn't ask Chad for advice, just like he doesn't usually ask Misha. He has very well-intentioned and over-invested friends. It's kind of nice. Sometimes.

"Uh huh," says Jared.

"I mean, it's real fucking adorable and all that the two of you say hi to each other when he walks by and you stare at him, but it's not really a very deep relationship."

"And you care because...?"

"Dude, you need to get laid. Seriously."

Jared doesn't bother denying it. He's pretty sure if Chad knew he was a virgin, he'd hire a hooker just to remedy the situation. Which would be weird and very awkward.

"So your big plan is for me to stalk him more?"

"Uh, duh," says Chad. "Come on, look how well it's working for you!"

"It was pretty much a coincidence."

"You say _coincidence_ , I say _God's reward for being a creeper_."

"That attitude explains so much about you," says Jared. He sighs. "Why is everyone obsessed with setting me up with Jensen?"

"Because you're mopey as shit and your pining is pathetic," says Chad. "Or you're a cool dude and we like you and want you to be happy."

"I like the second one better."

"Anyway, he's at the conservatory, right?"

"Yeah."

"So they've got to have stuff. You know, events the public can go to. Pretend you're really into classical music, or whatever."

"Or I could stop worrying about my stupid crush and focus on my job and my classes," says Jared, reasonably.

"If you want to die alone, yeah."

Jared rubs his face. "That's the plan, yeah."

  


  


  


It turns out Jared is not psychic, but he still gets paid for the study, which goes a long way to cushioning the blow. It really is only an hour of work, which is nice, but that leaves him with a whole lot of weekend to fill and not much to do with it.

It's not that Jared doesn't like free time, he just hasn't really ever recovered the kind of social life he had in high school. And he knows he's got to stop dwelling on that, but--his classes are these big, lecture-hall things, and he hasn't managed to bond with any of his classmates, and no one at work really knows him very well except for Chad. And he's wary of spending social time with Chad. He feels like it would end with felony charges.

"I have got to stop feeling sorry for myself," Jared mutters, scrubbing his face. It's a beautiful day, early spring in Boston, not really all the way warm yet, but pleasant, and the sun is shining. Going home to do his reading for Tuesday would be depressing and upsetting. And just kind of generally sad.

Instead, he decides to head over to the Conservatory and see if he can find some free events he could go to without feeling like too much of a tool. It feels pathetic, but actually a little _less_ pathetic than just pining for Jensen and not doing anything about it. At least this is productive.

Apparently the universe agrees, because he finds Jensen actually hanging up a poster for an event.

"Hi," he says, before he can talk himself out of it.

Jensen looks up and grins, easy and friendly. "Hey! Dude, what are you doing here? You don't work weekends, do you?"

"Oh, no," says Jared, flushing. He doesn't really want to admit he was doing a questionable medical study to make some extra cash, so he flails and tells the first lie he comes up with. "Just doing a little studying."

"Yeah?" asks Jensen, clearly a little surprised. "You aren't at the conservatory, are you?"

"Oh, no," says Jared, and then, for no reason he can fathom, continues, "Northeastern."

"Oh, cool!" says Jensen, with a smile. "I didn't know that."

"Just part time," says Jared.

Jensen nods. "Well, that's awesome, man," he says. He cocks his head at Jared. "Okay, random question--are you from Texas?"

Jared blinks. "Yeah," he says, a little warily. "Why?"

"I am too," says Jensen, with a big smile. "Richardson. I thought your accent sounded familiar."

"San Antonio," says Jared.

"Far from home," Jensen says, and Jared doesn't wince, but it's close. Jensen doesn't seem to notice, which is nice. "You know, I'm starting to think this is fate."

Jared chokes a little. "What?"

Jensen smiles, looking amused, but not meanly. "We just keep running into each other, you know? I feel like I see you everywhere. And I never meet Texas boys."

"Well, they all want to stay in Texas and reproduce," Jared grumbles.

"I guess you don't go back much," Jensen says, laughing. "I don't blame you. I never had much luck with Texas boys either."

Jared smiles a little weakly. "Yeah, I--it's not my favorite place to be," he says.

Jensen puts his hand on Jared's shoulder, all warm support and affection, and it's so easy for him Jared can't quite believe it. He realizes with a sinking feeling that he's never really met anyone who's _happy_ being gay. Not that he himself is unhappy with it, so much as he just doesn't know how to forget that this one thing cost him so much else.

"Do you want to go on a date with me?" Jared asks, just blurting it all out. He feels like the least smooth guy on the planet.

Jensen smiles, but it's warm in a way that makes Jared think the answer is going to be no.

"Sorry," he says, instantly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have--"

"Jared," says Jensen, squeezing his shoulder. "You have nothing to apologize for. Seriously. And I definitely want to hang out and get to know you? But I just broke up with my boyfriend a couple months ago, and I'm not really ready to date again."

"Oh," says Jared. "Yeah, I guess that would--"

"As soon as I am I'll take you up on that, though," says Jensen, with a much bigger smile, and a _wink_. Jared kind of wants to die, even though it's going well. "You're cute."

Jared flushes all over. "Oh."

"So, my friend Danneel is having a party tonight. You should grab your roommate and come."

"My roommate?"

"Or another friend. I've been that guy who's alone at a hot guy's party, it's awkward."

"There's going to be a hot guy at this party?" Jared asks, before he can think better of it, but he has no regrets when Jensen stares for a second and then laughs, delighted.

"So, give me your number and I'll text you the address?" Jensen suggests, shaking his head with a grin. "I have to get to work."

"Work?"

"I volunteer at the MFA," Jensen says. "I have a short shift Saturday afternoons."

"Oh," says Jared. "That sounds cool."

"It is, yeah," says Jensen. "I like it."

"Yeah," says Jared, feeling awkward. He doesn't quite know how to feel right now--Jensen said no, but it was a _good_ no, he thinks. And Jensen wants him to go to a party. And he _asked_ , which is exciting all on its own. "I'll just give you my number and let you get going."

Jensen smiles. "Sounds awesome." They exchange information, and Jensen even shoots Jared a text just to make sure it works. Jared tries not to do something stupid, like swoon. He should tell Jensen not to text--he doesn't have a plan that covers it--but he doesn't really want to get into that. "So, I'll see you tonight?" Jensen asks, sounding kind of hopeful.

"Yeah," says Jared, smiling back. "See you."


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you want to come out to Northeastern and get me and go to a party tonight?" asks Jared, all in a rush.

"You could say hello," says Misha mildly. "Especially when you're asking me for favors."

"It's a party! You like parties. Vicki can come. I need to run around in circles. Seriously. I have so much adrenaline right now."

"Are you high?" asks Misha. "You can tell me if you're high. A lot of these studies involve very questionable medications. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Just come get me," says Jared, laughing. "I'll explain when you get here."

Fifteen minutes later, Misha calls again, and Jared jogs over to meet him at the car.

"You actually ran around in circles," says Misha, disbelieving. "Seriously, what happened?"

"I asked Jensen out," says Jared, grinning.

"And he said yes?"

"No, actually," Jared admits, smile not dimming. "I guess he's not over his ex yet, but he said he liked me and asked me to a party and stuff. So you need to come. Clearly I need help."

Misha shakes his head. "Clearly. Well, I'm glad you're happy with this."

"I am," Jared says, a little surprised to admit it. "I mean, I'd rather he said yes, but--he still likes me. And he said he'd ask me out if he ever, you know."

"Gets over Tom."

"Yeah."

"Congratulations," Misha says, after a moment of silence. Misha sometimes needs time to evaluate things. "I know this is a big step for you."

Jared's phone buzzes, and he smiles when he sees it's a text from Jensen with an address and a _see you tonight :D_ at the end.

"You're _adorable_ ," Misha teases, pinching Jared's cheek.

Jared makes a face and squirms away. "Shut up. You're coming, right?"

"Of course I'm coming. I have to give you my blessing. And menace your boyfriend."

"You better not," Jared warns. "And he's not my boyfriend!"

"Please," says Misha, snorting. "It's only a matter of time."

  


Jensen's friend Danneel lives in Cambridge, and Misha agrees to take the car and be designated driver.

"I'm twenty," Jared reminds him, with a sigh. "I can't drink anyway."

"You're turning twenty-one in three months," says Misha. "And I doubt Jensen's friend is going to card you."

Jared rubs his face. "I don't even know how old he is," he admits, miserably.

"It doesn't actually matter," says Misha. "Will you stop moping? You were so excited earlier. I miss excited Jared."

"Sorry," says Jared. "I am excited! I'm making friends! I just--I don't want him to think I'm lame."

"You're twenty, you're not a leper," says Misha, reasonably. This is why Jared brings Misha to these things. He's good at talking Jared down, and generally more embarrassing than Jared with a few drinks in him.

"I know," says Jared. "But he has _friends_. What if his friends think I'm lame and tell him not to hang out with me?"

"What if his friends are hot and gay and you can hook up with one of them?"

"Not as good as Jensen," Jared says, but he perks up anyway. "Still, good call, Misha."

Misha grins. "Also, you're looking totally adorable and very polished, so I think you should be in good shape. Jensen is going to forget Tom's name when he looks at you."

Jared smiles. Misha kind of exaggerates sometimes, but he knows he's actually looking pretty good. He went through some unfortunate growth spurts after getting kicked out, and while he likes being tall, none of the clothes his parents bought him fit anymore, so pretty much everything he owns at this point is from Goodwill. But these jeans actually fit him perfectly, and he's wearing a nice blue button-down that makes his eyes (apparently) look amazing. "Tom looked really hot too," he points out.

"Whatever, he's so--wholesome," says Misha, shuddering as if this is the worst insult he can think of. "He seems nice, but I think I'd go crazy dating him."

"You don't like guys," Jared points out.

"But if I did, you would be at the top of my to-do list." He pauses. "Get it?"

"Don't explain the joke," says Jared. He bites his lip, looking at the buzzer for apartment 2B, _Cortese and Harris_.

"Don't be a pussy," Misha shoots back, and hits the button. A second later, Jared can her the click of the lock, and Misha pushes the door open. "Come on."

A pretty red-haired girl opens the door and gives both of them a once-over before returning her gaze to Jared with a smirk. "You must be Jared," she says.

"Uh, yeah," says Jared. a little warily.

"Jensen doesn't make new friends _nearly_ enough. I'm Danneel. This is my _My Job Sucked, Thank God It's Over_ party. Thanks for coming! I know you don't have all the back story, but trust me, my job sucked _so hard_."

"Okay," says Jared. "I believe you. Nice to meet you," he adds. "This is my roommate, Misha."

"Charmed," says Misha, with a grin. "I'm glad your terrible job is over."

"You have no idea," says Danneel. "Come on, Misha, I'll introduce you around. Jared, Jensen is fixing drinks. You should go say hi. He's in the kitchen."

It's so far from subtle that even Jared can't think of it as anything but a blatant set-up. Which is actually nice. He waves to Misha and weaves through the throngs of people. It's somewhere between what he thinks a college party would be like--tons of alcohol, low lighting, and people making out in dark corners--and a fairly normal networking event, with nicely dressed people hanging out and chatting. Although they don't seem to be drinking wine as much as very brightly colored punch that smells like death.

Jensen is indeed in the kitchen with the punch bowl, wearing a tight black t-shirt, jeans, and no glasses, and Jared has trouble not staring. It becomes even harder when Jensen turns and smiles at him.

"Hey!" he says, waving Jared over. "Dude, you made it!"

"Yeah," says Jared, smiling. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Yeah, of course! I'm so glad you could come. Is your roommate here?"

"Yeah, your friend Danneel took him to meet people."

Jensen rolls his eyes. "She thinks she's subtle. She also thinks she's cute. She's wrong about everything."

"No badmouthing my girl, Ackles," says a dark-haired girl holding out a cup to Jensen. "I know where you sleep."

"You also know I lock my door to protect myself from angry lesbians," Jensen points out, accepting the cup and filling it with a laugh. "Gen, this is Jared. Jared, this is Genevieve, Danneel's girlfriend. The party was actually her idea."

"My girlfriend is happy again!" says Genevieve, who's clearly had a few too many already. "It's a Christmas miracle."

"It's April, sweetie," Jensen says gently. "You should sit down."

"I am going to go find my girlfriend," says Genevieve firmly. "Possibly for smoochies."

"Or that," says Jensen. "Don't drink that punch."

"You're not my dad!" Genevieve calls over her shoulder.

Jensen shakes his head with a smile. "Sweet girl. No alcohol tolerance. I figured it would develop, but--apparently not." He looks over at Jared with a grin. "You want some?"

"Uh, it kind of smells like lighter fluid," Jared admits, with a laugh.

"Yeah, that's what happens when we let Chris make the punch. I don't know what goes in there, but it looks even worse coming up."

"Thanks for that," says Jared, groaning. "Just what I wanted to hear."

"We also have beer, if you want one," says Jensen, holding up his own.

"I'm, um--I'm twenty," Jared admits.

Jensen shrugs. "I'm not a cop. If you want to have a drink, I won't stop you. But no pressure."

"Maybe a beer," Jared says, relaxing a little.

"Sure thing," says Jensen, grabbing one out of a bucket of ice and passing it over.

"How was the museum?" Jared asks, twisting off the cap and taking a long drink. He doesn't particularly _like_ beer, but he no longer makes an embarrassing alcohol face when he tries it. So at least there's that.

"Pretty good," says Jensen, leaning back against the counter. His shirt rides up a little; Jared wants to lick the thin strip of skin there. He flushes and looks away. "My mom works for an art museum back in Dallas, it's kind of a guilt-trip thing from her. But I like it anyway."

"Oh," says Jared. "That's cool, that you can do that for her. My mom--" he starts, and then realizes what he's saying. "Um. She used to take me to work with her."

Jensen looks at him for a minute, and then shakes his head, as if he needs to collect his thoughts. "Yeah, that's always fun," he says, and there's something in his voice that makes Jared pretty sure Jensen knows he has some problems with his parents. "So, what's your major?" he asks, taking a sip of his beer.

"Engineering," says Jared.

"Wow," says Jensen, sounding impressed. "Dude, that's awesome. I pretty much suck at math."

"Well, I'm tone deaf, so it evens out," says Jared.

"I didn't know you could do engineering part time," Jensen muses, sounding surprised. "I thought there were tons of ridiculous morning classes."

"It's tough," Jared says, and that much is true. "But, yeah, I'm working it out." He feels questions coming on and quickly changes the subject. "How'd you get into violin?"

"The same way every kid does," says Jensen, with a rueful grin. "My parents wanted me to try out an instrument. I started with piano and was decent at it, but my best friend in fourth grade was switching to violin and I went with him. He didn't like it much, but--" Jensen shrugs. "I dunno. It just felt right, I guess."

"That's cool," says Jared. "To find what you want to do so early."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees. "I might be screwed when it comes to getting work, but--I'm doing what I want to do, you know? Following my passion."

"Yeah," says Jared, feeling himself fall even harder for Jensen. "So--do you perform or anything?" he asks.

Jensen laughs. "I do perform, yeah," he says, scratching behind his ear. "I just joined a jazz quartet, actually."

"There's jazz violin?"

"There is jazz violin," Jensen agrees. "I'm more of a classical guy usually, but I'm liking it so far." He slants Jared a look. "I can let you know when our next show is if you want," he offers.

Jared ducks his head with a small smile. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Danneel's friend Ryan relieves Jensen of punch duty about an hour later (apparently Danneel and Genevieve had a very bad party one year with unattended alcohol and a lot of projectile vomiting, and now they believe in having someone around to cut people off at all times). Jensen doesn't seem to mind having Jared follow him around, though, so they mingle together. Most of the people there have graduated college and entered the workforce, and Jared feels a little young and small (metaphorically). Jensen must notice, because they end up chatting in a relatively empty corner of the living room, away from the guys talking about their stuffy desk jobs.

"So, how do you know Danneel?" Jared asks, sipping his beer.

"We both went to BU," says Jensen. "We met in a theater class freshman year, we've been friends ever since."

Jared nods. "And what was her job that she hated?"

Jensen laughs. "Oh man. She was working for this crazy eccentric millionaire. It was kind of hilarious for _me_ , because I just heard all the stories about weird shit he had her do, but it was a really terrible job, and he drove her nuts. Totally rude, really unpredictable--not a good idea at all."

"So did she get a new job?"

"Yeah. She's a graphic designer, she finally got hired by a firm. She'll probably have a _finally starting my new job_ party in a few weeks--she needed a break before that started up." Jensen glances over at him. "I'm sure you're invited to that one too."

Jared is having a little trouble wrapping his brain around the idea of just taking a few weeks off between jobs--he knows people do it, but he's too used to going paycheck-to-paycheck to really even consider it. "Sounds fun," he says, with a smile that could be stronger. "She seems nice."

Jensen snorts. "Uh huh. I can tell you haven't talked to her much."

"Jared!" says Misha, before Jared can respond, and suddenly he's got Misha draped on him. "There are _hot lesbians_ at this party. It is _the best_. We should come here all the time."

"I thought you were the DD," Jared says dryly.

"Me too, but I think the punch is made of battery acid. I had like six cups."

Jensen snorts. "Looks like you're driving, Jared."

Jared groans. "I hope I remember how."

"Left pedal is gas," says Misha sagely. He makes a face and looks at his hands with confusion. "Wait, maybe not. Which one makes an L?"

"Which pedal?" asks Jared, amused.

"Wow, this is an accident waiting to happen," says Jensen, laughing. "Not to be opportunistic, but if I can get a ride back into the Allston area, I will totally be the mostly sober guy who tells you how to drive."

"I like you," Misha decrees, with a solemnity that Jared finds somewhere between hilarious and embarrassing. "You are selfish and pretty."

"I'm often told those are my best features," Jensen agrees. He grins at Jared. "You ready to head out?"

Jared didn't want to admit it, but he's getting kind of tired, and he's more than ready to get home. "Yeah, we probably should," he says. "I don't want to carry Misha home."

Jensen laughs. "You take his right side, I'll take his left," he suggests, and together they manage to say goodnight to Danneel and get Misha into the back of the car.

"So, where do you live?" Jared asks.

"Jamaica Plain," says Jensen, stretching. "The end of the E Line. It's not a good place. You can just drop me off at Kenmore or something if it's easier."

"Nah," says Jared. "I can take you home." He gets the car started and moving forward without trouble, and Jensen gives him a smile.

"So you don't suck at this."

"I don't _suck_ ," Jared agrees, laughing. "I just haven't had a car in a while. I borrow Misha's sometimes, but he mostly needs it."

"You guys seem close," Jensen observes. "He's not in college with you, is he?"

"No," says Jared. "I found him before I was in school, right after I moved to the city. Craigslist. But we get along, so we've been sticking together."

Jensen nods. "Sometimes I miss having a roommate. It's just me and my dog right now."

Jared perks up. "You have a dog? What kind?"

Jensen glances over at him and then laughs, shaking his head. "Why am I not surprised you're a dog person?" he teases. "He's a mutt with a lot of spaniel in him. Dumb as a rock, but nobody's perfect."

Jared grins. "Man, I miss my dogs," he says, without thinking, and gets hit with a sharp stab of sadness. They're not _his_ dogs anymore.

Jensen clears his throat. "Look, it's not any of my business, but--something happened with your family, right? That's why you don't go back."

Jared licks his lips, not sure what to say. He settles on, "Yeah."

Jensen reaches over and squeezes his leg, casual support that makes Jared ache. "I'm sorry," he says. "It took my parents a little while, but they came around. I hope yours do too."

Jared watches the road for a long minute, still at a loss for how to have this conversation. "Thanks," he says, finally. "Me too."

"I approve of your hot boyfriend," Misha tells Jared the next morning. "Even if he will steal you away and I will not have anyone to make me coffee."

Jared rolls his eyes. "Thanks," he says. "Really, I was worrying that _you_ wouldn't like Jensen. That's what's been stressing me out."

"I also think he was looking at you like he had dirty fantasies about every part of your anatomy, so don't worry too much that he's not into you," says Misha.

"That's much more encouraging," says Jared. He allows himself a goofy grin. "I mean, I kind of thought that too," he admits. "I'm not wrong, right? He's kind of into me."

Misha laughs. "You're adorable. And he clearly realizes it. I predict sappy gay romance any day now."

And Jared even believes it.

But he doesn't get any more calls (not that he makes any), and he doesn't even see Jensen passing by the construction site, so he figures that, maybe, Jensen really wasn't particularly interested.

Then, on Thursday morning, he hears Jensen say, "Oh thank God."

He looks up, surprised, and sees Jensen holding two cups. "What?" he asks. And then corrects it to, "I mean, good morning?"

Jensen laughs and sits down. "So, I've been buying two cups of coffee a day every day this week, hoping I'm going to see you, and then you don't show up, and I'm ridiculously over-caffeinated. It's been sad."

"You've been preemptively buying me coffee?" Jared asks, surprised. The fancy drinks are like $4 each. Jensen's been wasting a lot of cash.

"It's apology coffee," says Jensen, sliding the cup across the table. "Because, um, well, Danneel says I'm an idiot."

"Okay," Jared says, a little surprised. "You really didn't do anything you need to apologize for."

"No, no--" Jensen says, and cuts himself off with a laugh. "Apparently I've been talking about you a lot. I mean, before the party. I, uh, I mentioned you asked me out and she told me I was the world's biggest idiot because I am _obviously_ into you."

"Oh," says Jared, flushing. "Um."

"Yeah," says Jensen. He smiles lopsidedly. "I've been feeling like--I'm not supposed to be over my ex yet, you know? I wasn't crazy about him or anything, but we were together for almost a year." He rubs the back of his neck. "I liked you. You're--pretty much exactly my type. I didn't want you to be a rebound guy."

"Oh," says Jared, softer.

"Yeah," says Jensen. "Anyway, I told Danneel that and she--very affectionately--told me I was being an idiot. Which is true. Because--like I said, I like you, and I'm really not trying to get over my ex. So I was wondering if you'd forgive me for being an idiot and go on a date with me this weekend."

Jared figured it was coming, but actually having Jensen _ask_ is still somehow surprising. He stares for a second before he recovers and says, "Yes!" with maybe a little more enthusiasm than is warranted.

Jensen just laughs. "Oh, good. I was going to kick myself if I screwed that one up."

Jared smiles, feeling warm and fuzzy and kind of amazing, and Jensen smiles back for a long minute. They're probably being ridiculous.

"I actually have to get going, I've got practice," says Jensen, with a groan. "I don't know who decided practice _before_ class was a good idea, but I hate them." He smiles at Jared. "But I'll call you?"

"Yeah," says Jared. "Looking forward to it."

He breaks his no texting rule as soon as Jensen leaves, and sends Misha _GOING ON A DATE WITH JENSEN OMG :)_

Misha replies _knew you could do it, champ!_ about ten seconds later, and Jared doesn't stop grinning for the rest of the morning.  


  


  
"Wait, _seriously_?" asks Chad.

"Seriously," says Jared, trying not to be _too_ smug.

"So, you're going out with him."

"This weekend, yeah."

"You asked him out?"

"Yup."

"And he said yes."

"Pretty much," says Jared. He doesn't really want to get into _all_ the details with Chad. It's a little too complicated, and Chad will make fun of him.

"Wow," says Chad. "Dude, I did not think you were gonna have the balls to ask him."

"Shut up," Jared says, laughing. "I have tons of balls."

"More than two?" asks Chad, making a face. "TMI, dude."

"Why the fuck are you two homos talking about Padalecki's balls?" asks Jake. "Get to work."

"We'll talk about yours next, stud, don't be jealous," says Chad, blowing him a kiss.

Jared isn't as good at rolling with the punches as Chad is, not with people he doesn't know very well, and he's profoundly grateful Chad is there. Because Chad can dismiss things like this, because they're not _true_.

"You're such a dickface, Murray," says Jake.

"Dude, this crush you've got on me is pathetic," says Chad, shaking his head.

"So, Padalecki, when'd you grow balls?"

"He asked out this girl he's been crushing on," says Chad, the lie smooth and easy and completely casual. "Go do your work, dude, leave us alone." Once Jake has taken off, Chad gives Jared a surprisingly compassionate and thoughtful look. "Sorry if you wanted to come out there, man," he says, in a low voice.

"Not even a little," says Jared. "Thanks."

"No problem." He grins. "So, when do I get to meet him?"

Jared laughs. "Dude, are you kidding? Never."

Chad considers, but then shrugs. "Yeah, okay, I get that a lot."

When he gets out of class Thursday night, he's got a voicemail from Jensen waiting.

"Hey, Jared! I guess you're not around. Anyway, give me a call--I was hoping we could do dinner tomorrow night? Let me know."

It's only 9:15, so Jared figures Jensen won't mind getting a call and dials as he heads over to the train station.

"Hey!" says Jensen, picking up on the first ring. He sounds excited and pleased.

"Hey, sorry, I was in class," Jared says, smiling.

"Oh yeah?" asks Jensen, sounding interested. "You're on campus? I was at the library late, you want to get a snack or something? I'm starving."

Jared flushes, feeling like the world's worst person. He keeps forgetting he told Jensen that stupid lie, and he knows he needs to correct it, but--not over the phone.

"Misha stayed late for me, I already got a ride home," he lies quickly. "Sorry."

"No big," says Jensen. "I'll get something from Starbucks. So--are you free tomorrow?"

"Yeah, definitely. I get off work at five-thirty and nothing after that."

"Okay, cool," says Jensen. "You want to just meet up right after? We can hang out and find somewhere to grab dinner. Maybe a movie, if anything's playing."

"Yeah," says Jared, feeling a smile growing on his face. "Yeah, that sounds great."

"Awesome," says Jensen. "I'll come meet you at the construction site."

"Oh," says Jared, biting his lip. "Uh, probably not a good idea," he admits. "I'll come over to the conservatory," he says. "My coworkers aren't exactly, um--"

"Say no more," says Jensen. "I understand. See you tomorrow at the conservatory?"

"See you."

"I need advice," Jared says, collapsing onto one of Misha's weird arm chairs.

"As always," says Misha, not looking up from his laptop. "What's up?"

"I might have lied to Jensen. Not-- _too much_ ," he corrects quickly. "It was just--he asked if I went to the conservatory, and I don't. And I was too embarrassed to say I went to community college so I said I went to Northeastern. Because _that_ makes sense."

"So he thinks you go to Northeastern," Misha says, always quick on the uptake.

"Yeah."

"So tell him you don't."

"Thanks, genius."

"Seriously, you don't have to explain everything. Tell him he's pretty and you got tongue-tied and stupid. It happens to everyone. When I first met Vicki, I told her my name was Maria."

"Really?"

"Honestly. It was very embarrassing, but I am not always smooth."

"So--the truth."

"I know it sounds crazy."

Jared sighs. "I just wish I didn't worry about this stuff."

"You'll stop," Misha says. "Or at least get a little better. Everything seems overdramatic in college."

"Thanks, that makes me feel better," says Jared, groaning.

"Just breathe," Misha advises. "It's a first date with a boy you like. It's an exciting event."

"It's true," says Jared. "I am _really_ excited for that."

"And for telling him the truth about your school, which he really will not care about."

"I know," says Jared. "Okay. So, what do I wear?"

Misha laughs. "There you go, that's getting your priorities straight. I'll help."

  
Jared changes and stashes his work clothes in Misha's car after work and then heads over to meet Jensen at the conservatory. He's more excited than nervous, which he's glad about. That lasts about until he _sees_ Jensen, who's sitting on a bench, gnawing on a pen and reading a book. He's wearing a soft black sweater and jeans and his glasses, and he looks like something out of a movie, probably the bookish best friend who's secretly the romantic lead.

Jared doesn't feel like he fits in the same picture. But Jensen looks up and sees him and his whole face lights up like he's been waiting for Jared.

Which, obviously, he has.

It's impossible for Jared not to smile back.

"Hey," he says.

"Hi," says Jensen, standing and stowing his book in his satchel. "How was work?"

"The usual," says Jared, with a shrug. "My coworker Chad was an idiot, my other coworkers ignored us because they think he's contagious. Good times."

Jensen laughs. "How'd you get stuck with him?"

"I think it's their version of hazing," Jared confesses. "I'm the new guy, I have to put up with Chad." He smiles. "But he's not actually that bad. He doesn't care that I'm gay, and I'm pretty sure that's not everybody."

"That sucks," Jensen says, sighing. "Music conservatory is kind of one of those places people are more surprised if you're straight than gay, so it's pretty easy for me." He grins. "Not to stereotype or anything."

"Yeah, I can imagine," says Jared, smiling.

Jensen stretches. "So I was thinking we could walk over to Kenmore and see what we find for dinner?" he suggests, looking like an excited kid. Jared kind of feels the same. "I'm pretty pumped about spring, I just want to be outside all the time."

Jared laughs and shakes his head. "You are such a Texas boy," he teases.

"God, I know," says Jensen, sighing. "I miss the sun. It's pathetic. My friends all make fun of me."

Jared smiles. "Kenmore's good," he says, and he follows Jensen as they start walking. "So how'd you decide to come to Boston?" he asks.

"I wanted to get away from home," says Jensen. "It was a little awkward with my parents, and I just felt like--if I went to UT or whatever, I wouldn't ever get away, you know? That's what my brother did, he's married and has a kid on the way." Jensen grins. "Which is great, don't get me wrong, I'm psyched to be an uncle. But Texas isn't the place I want to be, much as I miss it sometimes. And, honestly--I got into BU."

Jared laughs. "So nothing special, huh?"

"Not before, anyway," says Jensen. "But now it really feels like home. I don't know, it turns out it's a great city." He winks at Jared. "Shame about the weather."

Jared laughs, looking over at Jensen and licking his lips. "So, I have a confession to make."

"Yeah?" asks Jensen, tilting his head.

He sighs. "So--have you ever met someone, and you think they're awesome, and it kind of kills your ability to think like a normal human being?"

Jensen laughs. "Yeah, I've been there. What's up?"

"I don't go to Northeastern," Jared admits. "I was just--you asked and I wanted you to like me, so I--lied, I guess. I, um. I actually go to a community college in Southie."

Jensen blinks, looking a little surprised. "Okay," he finally says. He smiles. "I've definitely said weirder."

Jared smiles, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I was kind of--embarrassed," he admits.

"Well, don't be," says Jensen. He knocks his shoulder against Jared's. "So, what kind of food do you like?" he asks.

Jared laughs. "Pretty much everything."

Jensen grins. "You are so my type."

Jared ducks his head, flushing happily. "Yeah? Awesome."

Jared realizes when they get to Kenmore that he hadn't really thought about _dinner_. Jared has a strict weekly food budget, and eating out isn't really factored in, especially somewhere actually nice. Jensen is dressed smartly, but not so much so that they could go anywhere with a dress code, but Jared's out for anything much pricier than McDonald's.

The worst part is, the walk over was _great_. Jared really _does_ know how to talk to people--he was always pretty popular in high school, lots of friends, even some acting. And he and Jensen are natural together, settling into an easy back-and-forth that distracts Jared from feeling even slightly uncomfortable. Jensen tells stories about sibling rivalries and how excited he is to be an uncle; Jared doesn't feel the stab of longing he usually does when he talks about his own brother and sister. But now suddenly he's worried again, palms sweating and not sure what to do. He somehow hadn't even _thought_ about paying for anything--he was so worried about his hair and his outfit and not making an idiot of himself that he forgot he only has $9 in cash on him.

"So, are you in the mood for anything in particular?"

Jared looks around, trying to find somewhere cheap that isn't _obviously_ cheap, but he's having a little trouble thinking. He can't believe he managed to forget about _paying for dinner_.

"Um," he says. "I dunno--burgers?"

Jensen grins. "I could do burgers. Am I gonna lose points if we go to a fast food place for our first date? Because I swear, U Burger is _awesome_." He laughs a little. "I'm really losing all my cool guy points right now, huh?"

Jared laughs, relief flooding over him. "Nah, you lost all your cool guy points a while ago," he teases. "Fast food sounds awesome," he says, smiling. "We could get it to go and eat outside, maybe? Since it's nice out."

Jensen grins. "Yeah, that'd be cool. I kind of miss eating outside. My place has a yard now, I want to see if I can do barbecues when it warms up."

"A dog and a yard?" asks Jared, impressed. "That's so--grown up."

Jensen laughs. "Yeah, it's all a facade. But you should come by and visit sometime. Kal is always looking for more suckers to lavish affection on him."

"Kal's the dog?"

"Yep. Short for Kal-El," says Jensen, laughing. "My ex was into Superman. So now I have a very nerdy dog."

"How long were you guys together?" Jared asks, as they head into the restaurant. "I mean, if you don't mind telling me."

"About six months," says Jensen. "I wasn't actually that upset when we broke up. I kind of thought I was supposed to be, but--" he shrugs. "I didn't think he was my soul mate or anything."

"So why were you dating him?" asks Jared, before he can think better of it.

Jensen looks over at him, a little surprised, but his face softens into a smile. "He was nice," Jensen admits. "I felt like I wasn't meeting anyone I really liked. Danneel said I was too picky. It wasn't a bad relationship, we had fun. But, you know."

Jared doesn't, actually. But he nods and smiles anyway.

"So, what do you want?" Jensen asks. "I asked, so my treat."

"What?" asks Jared, flushing all over. He should be grateful, but he feels kind of embarrassed. "No, I asked you first," he says, even though he can't afford to pay for him and Jensen. He could use his debit card, but he doesn't have a lot of flex room in his checking account, and he doubts they'll let him split it between cash and debit.

"Yeah, but I was an idiot and turned you down," says Jensen, with a grin. "Seriously, I'll cover tonight, you can treat me next time, okay?"

Jared relaxes. Next time is safe. He'll be able to prepare. "Fine," he says. "I can live with that."

They get their burgers and head over to a park nearby to eat, sitting down on the grass. It's starting to cool down and get darker, but it's still warm enough, and Jared likes the smell of cold in the air.

"So why did you come to Boston?" Jensen asks, settling back in the grass, propped up on his elbows.

"It seemed like a good place to try out," Jared says. He shrugs. "I don't know. I knew gay marriage was legal here, I liked that."

Jensen smiles. "Yeah, that's nice."

Jared wads up the foil from his burger and tosses it toward a garbage can, smiling when he sinks it. He leans back next to Jensen. "I guess I didn't want to go anywhere I knew anyone. I wanted to get away."

"I get that," says Jensen. He smiles. "I'm glad you did," he offers, and it should be cheesy, but it's kind of adorable instead.

And then Jensen's look turns soft and serious, and he's leaning over, and Jared realizes that Jensen is about to kiss him in the same second he pulls away.

Jensen looks a little surprised, and he looks down and flushes. "Sorry, I shouldn't have--"

"No," Jared says. "It's okay, I just--"

"First date," Jensen supplies. He grins. "I usually don't try to move that fast."

Jared looks down, fidgeting a little. He wouldn't _mind_ kissing Jensen, but it's a little surprising that Jensen wants to kiss him. Even though it shouldn't be. "Well, there's always the second date," he offers finally.

Jensen laughs. "And the third date, and the fourth date..." he says, flopping back on the grass and stretching out with a yawn. "God, I'm tired. This jazz quartet is gonna kill me." He looks at Jared. "So, if I cut tonight short, can we go out again on Sunday to make up for it? Like, afternoon? My friend Alona has a concert at two, we could go to that and then hang out? If you're into classical music."

Jared laughs. "I could do that," he says. "I, um--I really did have a good time tonight," he says.

Jensen grins. "Yeah, me too." He pulls himself off the grass and offers Jared a hand up. "So, are you heading to the train?"

"Yeah," says Jared. He smiles. "You too, right?"

"Yup," says Jensen. He makes to let go of Jared's hand and Jared just--doesn't let him. He threads their fingers together, determined not to make it a--thing. Because it's not. Jensen's hand is a little smaller than his, warm and firm, and he likes the feel of it in his.

"So, Kenmore?" he says, keeping his voice light.

Jensen's smiling, looking like he's as excited about holding hands as Jared is. He squeezes Jared's hand and starts walking. "Kenmore," he agrees.

Misha isn't home when Jared gets back--he's not really surprised, Misha is rarely around on Friday nights. But he's left a note for Jared:

 _I am not going to say I hope your date was awesome, because I KNOW it was. If you are not home tomorrow, I will be impressed, but also worry, so I hope you will call. But you will not see this note. Or WILL YOU? xoxo, Misha_

Jared smiles to himself and goes to double check his bank account--his paycheck should have deposited earlier today, but he never feels safe using his debit card until he's checked. He owes some of it to Misha, but still should have enough to buy Jensen lunch. Which he's decided he's going to do on Sunday.

He checks his e-mail and finds he's got one from Chad too-- _hope u got laid_ \--which he figures is pretty much the same sentiment as Misha's note, just translated from the Chad.

He flops back on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. It's not very late, and he's somewhere between tired and _so awake_ , buzzing on the feeling of having gone out with _Jensen_. It's not just that he went on a date, it's that he went on a date with a gorgeous boy who he really likes, who really likes him too.

He licks his lips, thinking about how Jensen was going to _kiss him_. He can't believe he turned away. He should have just kissed him as soon as he figured out what had been happening. Jensen would have _let him_.

Jared feels his dick stirring, and he feels himself flush even though he's alone. He's never exactly had anyone to think about when he gets off, no one _real_. Celebrities, or ideas, never an actual guy he's going to see again.

A guy he might actually have sex with.

Jared's a virgin, but he's not ignorant about sex. He watches porn, sometimes, when Misha isn't home, and he knows how everything is supposed to work. But thinking about it with _Jensen_ is a lot better.

He tries to remind his dick that he's getting ahead of himself--he might not get laid.

But, God, he _wants_ to.

He pops the button on his jeans and slides them off, not bothering to shed his boxers or his shirt. He just trails his hand down his stomach and into his underwear, wrapping his fingers around his dick and starting to jerk himself slowly.

He wonders how Jensen likes it. He's probably had enough sex to know what he likes, how he likes to be touched. Jared wonders if he likes having his dick sucked because--Jared would really like to try that. It makes his mouth water a little when he sees it in porn, the idea of having some faceless guy-- _Jensen now_ \--lying on the bed while Jared crouches between his legs, learning the feel of his dick in his mouth. Jared doesn't know what would feel good with his mouth, but he'd try everywhere, kissing and sucking and letting Jensen fuck into his mouth if he wanted to.

And maybe Jensen would suck him afterward, too. Switch their positions and show Jared how he does it, and--God, just the thought is enough to make Jared come.

He likes in bed, breathing hard, for a long moment, half-formed images of Jensen between his legs dancing behind his eyelids.

He expects to feel guilty but he's mostly just very, very hopeful.


	3. Chapter 3

He calls Jensen the next day to propose meeting up for lunch before the concert, and Jensen readily agrees. He still hasn't gotten around to feeling guilty about jerking off, but he thinks he should probably be honest with Jensen about his total lack of experience. Just in case Jensen wonders why he's such a bad kisser. He doesn't want Jensen to think he's kissed a ton of people and just doesn't know he sucks. Or something.

Mostly, he wants Jensen to kiss him, but not stop when he realizes Jared is really bad at it.

They meet up at a deli by Northeastern, and Jared manages to cover both of them for less than $20, which was his main goal.

"Outside again?" he suggests, giving Jensen a grin.

"Outside," Jensen agrees. "I need my vitamin D, Jared. Besides, it's really loud in here."

"And you want to talk to me?" Jared teases. "Glad you're not just in this for my pretty face."

"Your mouth looks hot when you talk," Jensen says, so nonchalant that Jared can't really tell if he's kidding. It makes him feel warm all over.

"Okay, I guess you are shallow. My mistake."

"And don't you forget it," says Jensen, grinning as they settle down on a bench.

"Actually, that reminds me," says Jared, flushing a little.

"Hm?" asks Jensen, unwrapping his sandwich.

"I, um--the other day."

"Yeah?"

"When you tried to kiss me, I--"

"I was out of line," Jensen says quickly. "I should have asked first."

"Dude, let me finish," Jared says mildly. "I'm not mad. I just--" he takes a breath. "I've never actually had a boyfriend before. Or even--kissed a guy."

"Oh," says Jensen. He looks surprised, but not angry.

"I've kissed a few girls," he says. "Okay, two. And once was for spin the bottle. And never with tongue. It pretty much sucked." He smiles a little. "So--that's why I suck at kissing."

Jensen smiles at that. "You probably don't suck at kissing."

"Well, if I do, tell me. I'll work on getting better."

That gets a laugh, but Jensen is looking at him fondly, not as if he's making fun. "I promise to give you constructive criticism on your kissing if you need it," he says. "But I'm not worried. And I won't try to kiss you unless you want me to."

Jared considers saying he does, but Jensen is smiling and gorgeous, and it's somehow easy to lean over and press his lips against Jensen's, and when Jensen smiles, he can feel it.

And then Jensen brings his hand up, holds Jared's cheek, kissing back for a second before he pulls away. Jared chases his mouth, though, and that seems to be all the encouragement Jensen needs to keep going, licking Jared's lips so he opens his mouth and going for it, wet and hot and kind of everything Jared wanted out of a first kiss.

"We should really not make out right here," Jensen says, pulling back against after a long, amazing minute.

"We shouldn't?" Jared asks, a little disappointed.

Jensen stares at him for a minute and then laughs, shaking his head. "You're adorable," he says. "But I'm not going to molest you in public."

"That wasn't molesting," Jared points out.

Jensen takes a long drink of his juice, winking. "It wasn't molesting _yet_ ," he says. "But, like I said, you're adorable." He groans. "And I swear I don't usually talk about molesting on the second date."

"Wait, how many dates does that usually take?" asks Jared, impressed with himself for keeping a teasing note in his voice. He kind of wants to go and run around in circles again, but he's pretty sure Jensen would just be confused.

Jensen laughs. "I don't actually have a set timeline," he admits, scratching behind his ear. "Just--later."

"I thought this was just some dating etiquette I didn't know. First date, holding hands, second date, kissing, third date, talking about inappropriate touching, fourth date, actually inappropriately touching."

Jensen grins. "I'm pretty sure Danneel believes that inappropriate touching can happen _before_ the first date, so it really depends." He smiles. "You don't have to worry about never having done this before," he says. "I'm pretty laid back. And I like you. I'm not going to freak out and run away if you screw up." He flicks his eyes over to Jared. "Which you haven't, by the way."

"I kind of worry sometimes," Jared admits, with a smile.

Jensen leans over and kisses him, short and sweet. "Yeah," he says. "I'm okay with it."

  
  


As excited as Jared is about his date with this awesome guy that he's finding he really, really likes (even aside from the hotness and the kissing), the concert is--boring.

It's not like Jared has ever thought much about classical music--he heard it sometimes in school, in music classes and stuff, and when he went to friends' piano recitals and stuff, but he's never considered himself a fan. It all sounds good and everything, but after about fifteen minutes he's feeling squirmy, and after the full hour, he's completely zoned out.

Jensen doesn't seem to have noticed, at least, but he also seems genuinely enthused about the whole thing. Which is cool, and good for him, but Jared wonders if this is a really bad sign. Jensen's life goal is playing music that Jared finds terminally dull.

"Hey, I've got to say hi to Alona before we leave," Jensen says, as they get up. Jared is really glad he's apparently completely oblivious to Jared's apathy. "You can come, but she will probably ask you a lot about your intentions and be very invasive. I will not be offended if you don't."

Jared laughs. "No, I'll come," he says. It's actually really hard to stress out about things when he's _talking_ to Jensen. He's too busy liking Jensen.

"Probably good," says Jensen, with mock solemnity. "It's only a matter of time before the grilling starts."

And that _definitely_ makes Jared all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Hey, thanks for coming!" says the pretty blonde girl who was playing flute during the concert. She spots Jared hanging awkwardly behind Jensen and her smile instantly turns wicked. "You brought a friend," she says, as if this is deeply meaningful.

"Shut up," says Jensen, goodnaturedly, leaning in to give the girl a hug. "You were awesome. And yes," he continues, before she can respond, "I brought a friend. This is Jared."

"I _thought_ so," says Alona, smirking. "It is _very_ nice to meet you, Jared. You go to Northeastern?"

"No, um, community college," Jared admits. He manages not to flush until he sees her eyebrows raise. Jensen doesn't seem to notice. "You were great," he adds, because he's pretty sure she was. The music was played well, it just--wasn't his thing.

"Thanks," she says, pleasant but not quite as friendly as before. She looks back to Jensen. "When's your next gig, huh?"

Jensen smiles, scratching behind his ear. "Next weekend, actually. I'll e-mail you. I'm not that great at the jazz part yet, but--"

"Oh, whatever," says Alona, rolling her eyes. "Jensen claims to not be great at stuff, and then secretly he's like a savant," she tells Jared, in a conspiratorial tone. "It's so mean. Have you heard him play?"

"Not yet," Jared admits.

"You are in for a treat," Alona gushes. "He's amazing."

"Shut up," Jensen grumbles, obviously amused. "You're supposed to be grilling Jared, not embarrassing me."

"Oh, whatever," says Alona, rolling her eyes. "Like I can't do both. What are you studying, Jared?"

"Engineering."

"Oh, wow! That's really impressive," she says, and Jared can't help thinking she had him dismissed as an idiot earlier.

"I like it," says Jared, with an awkward little shrug.

Jensen gives Alona a warning look, so obviously he's noticed she's being a little weird. "Anyway, we've got to get going," he says, clearing his throat. "I'll let you know about next weekend."

"Thanks," says Alona. She gives Jared a big smile and a wave. "It was _great_ to meet you. Hope I'll see you again."

Outside, Jensen stretches, and then gives Jared an apologetic smile. "Sorry about her," he says, softly. "She's nice, but she can kind of be a snob sometimes. She told me a jazz quartet was cute, but not really very _professional_."

"It's okay," Jared says. "I'm used to it."

"Seriously?" asks Jensen. "That's terrible."

"Huh?"

"I mean, that you get that a lot." He smiles, knocks his shoulder against Jared's. "I think it's kind of awesome, honestly."

"Awesome?"

"Working full time and going to school is really impressive, man," he says, shrugging. "Plus, engineering. That's some drive."

Jared doesn't really think of it as drive, not exactly. Maybe it is, but--sometimes he thinks he works so hard just to prove he's okay. That he can get by on his own, without his parents. That he can still have a life.

"Well, thanks, I guess," he says, a little awkwardly.

"That got kind of weird, huh," says Jensen making a face. "Want to get ice cream?"

Jared thinks about how much money he's got in his wallet, and how small a cone he can get without making Jensen suspicious. Then he decides--really, he _wants_ to get ice cream with Jensen. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, I do."

"So, how was your date?" Misha asks, when Jared comes in.

"Um," says Jared, biting his lip. "The parts with Jensen were good," he offers, falling back on the sofa with a sigh.

"There were parts of your date with Jensen that weren't with Jensen?" Misha asks, a little confused. "Was the train terrible?"

"No, no," says Jared. "I mean--he was there the whole time. It was just--boring. The concert, I mean. And then I told his friend I went to community college and she got kind of snobby."

"Okay," says Misha. "Well, don't hang out with that friend and try to avoid classical music."

Jared gives Misha a look. "He's a violinist."

"Well, go to _his_ concerts, obviously. But you don't have to know every piece of classical music ever."

"He's a _violinist_ ," Jared says, pretty sure that Misha is not getting this.

"Yes," Misha agrees. "Would you be offended if Jensen wasn't interested in engineering?"

"It's not really the same," Jared protests.

"It is the same," says Misha. "Relationships aren't based around having all the same interests all the the time. It is possible to enjoy things your partner does _because_ of your partner. The important thing isn't that you're crazy about classical violin, or that Jensen thinks engineering is fascinating. It's that you care about each other." He slants a look at Jared. "That being said, it _is_ important that you're honest with your boyfriend. Like telling him that you're happy to go to concerts with him, but it's not exactly your scene. Or that you are on a tight budget and would prefer going on dates that don't cost as much."

"This is all part of your evil scheme to teach me a lesson, isn't it?" Jared asks.

"It is part of my evil scheme to make sure you have a good relationship with the boy you are clearly head over heels over," says Misha. "I am an _asshole_."

"I do appreciate your advice, you know," Jared notes.

"I know," says Misha. "Listen, Jared--you're new at this. You haven't yet figured out what you need to worry about. You're not into classical music--that's probably not a deal breaker for Jensen. But you don't want to get into a relationship with him where you assume you can't tell him anything for fear it _will_ be a deal breaker." He reaches over to ruffle Jared's hair. "If the fact that you don't have a lot of money and your family kicked you out means Jensen doesn't want to date you, then you want to find that out now. Because that should be a deal breaker for _you_."

"I just--I don't want him to think of me as a charity case," Jared admits. "I don't think he'll break up with me, I just think it'll be different, if he knows."

"Well, it probably will," says Misha. "But different isn't always bad. And, if the two of you actually start dating seriously, he'll find out no matter what. And the longer it goes, the more it becomes _something you didn't tell him_ , not just something he doesn't know."

Jared looks at Misha for a long minute. "You are wise," he finally says. "How did you become so wise?"

"Mostly I just fuck up a lot," says Misha, sounding very pleased with himself. "Benefit from my many mistakes."

"Someone should," says Jared, sticking out his tongue.

"Oh, I see the moment of serious advice and bonding is over, and now I need to give you a noogie," says Misha, attempting to do just that, but Jared is larger than he is and has an older brother and a lot of experience fighting with him, so he wins without much trouble.

"Yeah, that worked out really well for you," says Jared, smugly.

"I can't believe you didn't let me win after I gave you such awesome advice," says Misha, shaking his head. "You're an ungrateful jerk, Padalecki."

"Spoken like a true loser," says Jared, letting him go.

"Never mind, tell Jensen you are a wildly sophisticated billionaire with a hard-on for opera. See if I care."

"I think I'd need a monocle for that," says Jared thoughtfully.

"I think I have one."

Jared snorts. "Of course you do."

Jared gets home from class on Tuesday feeling like he got hit by a bus, which is nothing new, but when he wakes up Wednesday morning still feeling like that, it's more than a little surprising.

He makes it to work on one cup of coffee and buys another as soon as he arrives, price be damned.

"Dude, you look like death," says Chad.

"Thanks, Chad," Jared says dryly, putting most of his effort into staying upright. "That's exactly what I like to hear."

"Seriously, what happened? Did your boyfriend keep you up all night having the worst sex ever?"

" _No_ ," says Jared, groaning. "I'm just tired, okay? I'll be fine with a little more coffee."

Jared really believes it too, but by lunch, he's feeling even crappier--exhausted and unsteady on his feet and about ready to sleep for a week.

"Jesus, what happened?" he hears, and looks up from his lunch bag to see Jensen.

"Jensen?" he asks, totally confused.

Jensen sits down next to him on the ground. "I was gonna see if you wanted to grab lunch with me," Jensen explains. "I had some free time, wanted to hang out. But, uh--shit, you look terrible. What's up?"

Jared is too tired to resist stupid impulses, so he just slumps against Jensen's side, resting his head on Jensen's shoulder. "'m just tired," he murmurs, feeling better as soon as he closes his eyes. "Class last night, got home late, always tired."

"I don't think you're just tired," Jensen says gently. Jared feels Jensen's hand on his forehead, pushing up his bangs, and he shivers. "You're burning up."

"Mm?" asks Jared.

"You need to go home."

"I need to go home?"

"You have a fever," says Jensen. Jared feels Jensen's arm around his shoulders, helping him up. He opens his eyes reluctantly.

"I have work," Jared protests. "It's lunch. I have work after lunch."

"Dude, you're going home," says Chad, who's looking at Jensen a little warily. "You're taking him home?"

"I'm calling his roommate," says Jensen. "Can you tell the boss he's sick and needs to go home?"

"Yeah," says Chad. He looks surprisingly mature. "You're Jensen, right?"

"Yeah, nice to meet you, um--"

"Chad. Take care of my boy, you got it?"

"I got it."

Jared wants to protest, but--he really is _tired_ , and Jensen is warm and wants to take care of him, which is kind of nice.

"Okay," Jensen says, "you're sitting down here, and giving me your phone."

Jared blinks. "My phone?"

"I don't have your roommate's number."

"Why are we calling Misha?"

"Because I don't want to drag you on the train if he can give us a ride. And if I am dragging you on the train, I'm taking you to my place."

"Really?"

"It's closer," Jensen says. "Come on, phone," he says. "You need to get somewhere you can rest."

Jared passes his phone over and leans against Jensen as he talks to Misha, not really paying attention. Now that Jensen's said he's sick, it makes sense, but he really can't afford to take time off work.

"I'd be fine," he tells Jensen, firmly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Jensen says. "Come on, you're coming to my house and Misha is gonna pick you up when he's done for the day."

"Are you done for the day?" Jared asks.

"I'm done, yeah," says Jensen. He gives Jared a smile. "Come on, I have an awesome bed that you can nap in."

"Not even the third date and you're already getting me in bed?" asks Jared. "Wow. You must think I'm so easy."

Jensen snorts. "I would pay money to see you attempt to get it up right now, Jared." He feels the press of Jensen's lips against his temple. "Come on."

"Your roommate said this just happened to you a few times a year," Jensen says, softly. They're walking from the train toward Jensen's place, and Jared is standing of his own power, mostly out of stubbornness. Also, he's taller than Jensen. It's kind of hard to lean on him very easily.

"Huh?" he asks, realizing Jensen said something.

"He said you work too hard, and you get sick, and you refuse to admit you're sick and don't take time off work," says Jensen. "Do you?"

Jared rubs his face. "Not exactly. I mean--I just get tired."

"And run a fever."

"Not usually," Jared says. "It's usually just--a cold. And I can work through it."

Jensen doesn't respond for long enough that Jared gets confused. Finally, he says, "Look, Jared--I don't expect you to tell me everything about yourself right away. But--it's pretty clear you've got some stuff going on. You don't have to tell me right now, but don't lie and say it's nothing."

"Uh," says Jared, head swimming. "I'm really too out of it to, uh, follow that," he admits.

Jensen smiles, shaking his head. "Yeah, we'll talk later. Come on in."

Jensen's house is small and pale blue, one story, with a yard with a white-picket fence.

"Wholesome," he can't help saying.

"I rent it," says Jensen, rolling his eyes. "I didn't make the fence." He smiles. "All through college and the first year of my PhD I lived in this shitty studio apartment, and I got sick of it. Besides, I wanted a dog, and I feel like a bad person keeping a dog with no yard."

Jared perks up. "You have a dog!" he says.

Jensen laughs. "Even running a fever, you're a dog person," he says, shaking his head. "Yes, I have a dog. He'll jump all over us as soon as we come in. And he's allowed on the bed, so you can use him as a very squirmy teddy bear while you sleep."

"I thought I got to use you as a teddy bear," Jared says, a little disappointed. If he gets to sleep at Jensen's, he figures he should at least get to sleep _with_ Jensen.

"We'll just all pile on the bed," Jensen says, laughing as he unlocks the door. As soon as the key goes in, the barking starts, high and excited, and when Jensen opens the door they're immediately assaulted by a little brown-and-white dog. Jensen gives him a perfunctory pat on the head as the go in, but Jared drops down to sit as soon as the door is closed, letting the dog climb all over him and lick his face.

"Hi!" he says, laughing and scratching his ears. "Hi, Kal, you're a good dog, aren't you!"

"He's an attention whore, and you're enabling him," Jensen says, shaking his head. "I can already tell this is going to be a disaster."

"He's adorable," says Jared, grinning. "I'm going to visit you all the time now."

"Fine by me," says Jensen. He crouches down so he can pat the dog too. "Come on, you really should lie down. You look better than you did earlier, but that's really not saying much."

"Gee, thanks," says Jared dryly, but he _is_ feeling pretty exhausted. He extracts himself from the dog and stands, a little unsteady when the blood rushes to his head. "Yeah, okay," he says. "I probably should lie down."

"Yeah, you really should," says Jensen, taking Jared's arm and leading him through the house. It's cozy, not that well furnished, but nice. It's clear Jensen hasn't been there that long, plans to stay. "I'll give you the tour next time, right now we'll just head to the bedroom." He pauses. "Wow, this is not the usual context for me saying that."

Jared frowns. "How often do you say that?"

Jensen flushes. "Uh, not often. I don't really--I'm not much of a, uh, hookup kind of guy. Nothing against it, I just prefer my sex with a side of emotional investment." He coughs. "Anyway. This is the bedroom. You lie down, I'm going to see if I have any soup. It looked like you weren't making much progress on your lunch."

"Yeah," Jared admits. He smiles at Jensen. "Did I say thank you? Seriously."

Jensen pushes him gently down onto the bed and kisses his forehead. "No problem," he says, smiling. "But next time I'm sick, I expect you to return the favor."

Jared laughs. "Deal."

  
  


  
"You're a dumbass," says Misha.

Jared blinks open, momentarily completely confused. He's got a dog on him, and the bed he's in is a lot bigger than his own. And his back is cold.

"What?" he asks.

"You should have told me you were feeling sick," says Misha.

"He's here to take you home," says Jensen, and that kickstarts Jared's brain. He was in Jensen's bed. Sleeping. With Jensen's dog.

This is probably the least sexy he's ever been, he decides, as he wipes some drool off his face.

Jensen doesn't seem to notice or care. "How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Better rested," he admits. "Still not great. But if I get a good night's sleep tonight--"

"You're still not going to work tomorrow," says Misha.

"Seriously, your job involves power tools and lumber," says Jensen. "I'm going to go by just to make sure you're not there."

"Misha--" Jared starts, trying to appeal to the fact that Misha knows his budget is tight enough that missing work is really a bad idea.

"You're not going," says Misha. He sighs. "Seriously, Jared."

Jared swings out of bed and stumbles a little, feeling Jensen catch him. "Okay," he admits. "I'm not going to work tomorrow," he agrees. He smiles at Jensen. "Thanks for taking care of me."

Jensen smiles, leaning up for a brief, fast kiss. "I'll call you tomorrow after class, okay? Just to check in."

Jared smiles. "Yeah, okay."

He follows Misha out to the car, hoping against hope that Misha won't ask too much about what happened.

Of course, as soon as he's strapped in, he says, "So, Jensen made you leave work?"

"Yeah," says Jared. He groans. "You know I can't afford to take many days off.

"You know that I will pay _you_ to take a sick day when you need one," says Misha. Jared starts to object, and Misha holds up his hand. "It's not charity, Jared. It's helping my friend. And I _know_ you'd do the same for me if you could."

"I would, but--"

"No buts," says Misha. He glances over at Jared. "Did you tell Jensen why you didn't want to miss work?" he asks.

"No," Jared admits. "But I'm going to," he says. "He's a really good guy."

Misha smiles. "He seems to be. But wait until you're feeling better."

Jared laughs. "Yeah, definitely."

Chad stops by after work on Thursday, looking a little shifty.

"You know where I live?" Jared asks, surprised. He's never really seen Chad outside of work, mostly by accident. Also, he suspects he and Chad don't really like to do the same things for fun. Chad's got this job because he didn't want to go to college and his parents think he needs a taste of _real_ work to convince him he wants a degree. Jared has a little trouble relating.

"I wanted to check on you," says Chad. "Is that so wrong?"

"Not wrong," says Jared, letting him in. "Just surprising."

"So how are you feeling, anyway?" asks Chad, sprawling out on the couch.

"Still pretty crappy," Jared admits. "Misha made me promise to take tomorrow off too."

"Good. You never take time off, man, it's scary."

"Well, some of us actually need the money we make," Jared snaps, feeling a little irritable.

"Sorry, man," says Chad, sounding a little sheepish. "I didn't mean it like that. But--seriously, you should not be operating heavy machinery right now."

"Yeah, that's what Jensen said."

Chad clears his throat. "Yeah, uh, speaking of Jensen."

Jared blinks. "What about him?" He really has no idea what Chad, of all people, would have to say about Jensen.

Chad leans back on the couch, closing his eyes. "Some of the guys saw him pick you up yesterday. No one's saying _he must be gay_ or anything, but everyone's a little bit curious about who he was and why he was all over you. I played dumb and neither confirmed nor denied, just said you were pretty out of it and needed the support. And that I didn't know who he was, probably a friend of yours."

"Oh," says Jared, mouth going dry. "Okay."

"Anyway, if you're not back around til Monday, maybe everybody'll just forget," Chad says, shrugging. "But I figured you'd want a heads-up so you can come up with a story, if you want one."

"What do you think they'd say?" asks Jared. "I mean, if they knew I was gay."

Chad shrugs. "Some of them would be assholes about it. But Jeff's the boss, and I think he'd be cool. And I think anyone who wasn't, he'd kick their ass to the curb. It's their problem, not yours." He glances over at Jared, clearly a little impressed. "You're seriously thinking about coming out at work? I didn't think you had it in you."

"My roommate is encouraging me to be more honest," says Jared. "I figure it's worth a shot."

"Huh," Chad says. "Jensen must be some guy."

"It's not really Jensen," Jared admits. "Don't get me wrong--he's awesome, I really like him. But something like this, it's kind of more about me, you know? I think it's about time to grow up." He looks over at Chad. "By the way, my parents disowned me for being gay and cut me off before I'd even graduated high school. I've been using that job to pay my way through community college."

It's easier than he thought it would be to say it, and Chad stares at him for a moment, slack-jawed.

"Shit," he finally says. "Dude, do you want my paycheck? You can have my paycheck. It's yours. I don't need it."

"You should save it," Jared says, smiling. "You might need it sometime."

Chad looks at Jared for another long moment, and then finally says. "So, your boyfriend. Good in bed?"

Jared laughs at that. "Dude, shut _up_."

Jensen calls and texts for updates on Jared's condition, until on Saturday night Jared assures him that he's feeling _fine_ , and asks if he wants to have a picnic in the common on Sunday before his quartet plays.

"A picnic?" asks Jensen, sounding somewhere between amused and impressed. "Wow. That's romantic, Jared. I'm touched."

"Shut up," says Jared, laughing. "Or I take it back."

"No, no," says Jensen. "No takebacks. You are making me a picnic. The dog can come. It will be depressingly domestic." He pauses. "I should mention my friends are making fun of me for how into you I am after, like, two dates."

"I think me crashing in your bed should count as a date," Jared says, smirking even though Jensen can't see him. "Just saying."

"Great, three dates," Jensen says ruefully. "I'm sure that'll make Danneel stop teasing me." There's a pause. "I'm really glad you're feeling better. I'll meet you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," says Jared. "Noon?"

"Awesome."

Misha smirks as Jared hangs up. "You're adorable. You're like a Disney princess. I look forward to the inevitable musical number with woodland creatures. Actually, if you're going to the park for a picnic tomorrow, I assume that's when it will happen. Jensen's dog will sing backup."

"Shut up. I'm not going to sing about how I'm poor and my parents hate me."

"You're going to tell him?" Misha asks, straightening up.

"I figure it's about time, yeah," says Jared. He smiles. "If he thinks I'm not worth it, I want to know now, right?"

"He thinks you're adorable," Misha says. "You should have seen him watching you with his dog. He wants to snuggle you forever."

"I want to do more than snuggle him," Jared points out mildly.

" _Really_ ," says Misha, perking up.

"You sound surprised," says Jared, confused. "You thought I was dating him because my endgame was _cuddles_?"

"I just haven't heard you express much sexual interest in people," says Misha, shrugging. "You usually talk about relationships in very platonic terms."

"I've never had sex before," Jared says. "That doesn't mean I don't want to."

"I don't blame you," says Misha, nodding. "He's very pretty. I would make out with him if I was drunk and single and wanted to break your heart."

Jared snorts. "I'm glad you know exactly what circumstances would lead you to making out with Jensen."

"I generally know what circumstances would lead to me making out with anyone."

"Like me?" asks Jared.

"You'd just have to ask," says Misha, shrugging. "Why wouldn't I make out with you?"

Jared considers, and then closes his mouth, frowning. "I actually don't have an answer for that," he admits.

"You're a stud," Misha says dryly.

"Whatever," says Jared. "Leave me alone, I have to cook."

"Ooh, what are you cooking?" asks Misha. "Are you going to seduce him with food? What food? I'm very curious about your game."

"Sandwiches," says Jared. "And that potato salad I made last time Vicki had a barbecue. And lemonade, which I'm fresh-squeezing tomorrow."

"Classy," says Misha. "What kind of sandwiches?"

"Turkey and roast beef," says Jared. "Mostly because that's what I have. This is my _I'm telling you I'm on a budget and can't afford to eat out but look how I can still give you awesome food_ date. I'm hoping it's going to work."

"I've had that potato salad, it will totally work," says Misha. He smiles at Jared. "This is a good idea, and I'm proud of you."

Jared smiles, nodding. "Yeah, I think so too. Thanks."

Jensen is already on the common when Jared arrives, tossing a tennis ball for a very enthusiastic Kal. It wasn't as if he looked unhappy before, but when he spots Jared his whole face lights up, and Jared feels a surge of fondness.

"Hey!" says Jensen, leaning up for a kiss once Jared's close enough. "You look so much better."

"Gee, thanks," says Jared, laughing.

Jensen rubs the back of his neck. "I just meant--I was worried."

"Relax, I was joking," says Jared, grinning. He reaches down to scratch Kal's ears. "Hi, boy."

"I think you like my dog more than me."

"Not _more_. About the same."

"Oh, now I feel better."

"Where do you want to eat? I brought a blanket."

"Wow, you really went all out. And here's good with me."

Together they get the blanket laid down and the dog settled with a bone Jensen brought, and Jared takes a deep breath, trying to psych himself up.

"I wanted to thank you for taking care of me the other day," says Jared, smiling. "I know I'm not exactly pleasant when I'm sick."

"You weren't unpleasant," says Jensen. "Just stubborn. And kind of stupid."

Jared smiles. "Yeah, I can't actually object to that," he says. "But--I wanted to try to explain, anyway. And I figured every explanation is better with food."

"Man after my own heart," Jensen agrees. "You don't have to explain anything, you know. I mean, I'd like you to, but--"

"I want to," says Jared. He smiles. "I like you. A lot. And--I'm always worrying when I meet new people that they won't like me if I tell them everything about myself, or they'll think of me differently. And I really want to stop worrying about that. So--" he licks his lips. "Do you want the roast beef sandwich or the turkey sandwich?"

"Turkey," says Jensen, only a little warily.

"Lemonade and potato salad?"

"Please."

Jared hands him a couple tupperware containers and an old water bottle filled with lemonade, smiling at Jensen's raised eyebrows.

"It's fresh-squeezed this morning," he says. "I just didn't have a nicer bottle for it."

"Wow," says Jensen, and he gives Jared a genuine smile. "This is really awesome, thanks."

Jared smiles. "Yeah, well, it's kind of food with an ulterior motive."

"Oh?" asks Jensen.

Jared licks his lips, and then takes a deep breath. "Okay, so--I guess I'll start at the beginning."

"Okay," says Jensen, voice gentle, encouraging, and he reaches over to squeeze Jared's hand lightly, just for comfort. Jared can't help smiling.

"I figured out I was gay in high school. My parents never really taught me it was wrong--they never really mentioned it at all." He smiles a little sadly, scratching behind Kal's ears. "I guess I figured if they were really against it, they'd be thumping bibles and talking about homosexuals were destroying the country. But--there wasn't anything like that. And I've always been honest with them. So I told them I was gay about halfway through my senior year of high school." He takes a deep breath. "And they threw me out and disowned me."

"Jared," Jensen breathes, and Jared can't look at him, or he'll probably start crying. He wants to get through this.

"Yeah," he says. "I came to Boston pretty much--by chance, I guess. Three years ago. I never even graduated high school. I wish I had, but--I didn't want to stay, you know? I didn't know what to do. I just got on the bus and rode it to Boston and thought it was as good a place as any. I stayed in a youth hostel for a few days, until I found Misha online, and he let me move in. I got a job, got my GED, enrolled in community college, but--I'm still living paycheck-to-paycheck, pretty much," he admits. "So I don't really take sick days, because I need the money. And I can't really afford to always go out for dinner, or to movies, but--I like picnics and DVDs. And I like you a lot." He licks his lips. "Oh, and I think classical music is kind of boring, but I still want to go to concerts with you and watch _you_ play." He takes a deep breath. "So, yeah. That's me, I guess."

Jared doesn't look up until Jensen speaks, and he has no idea how long that is, because it feels like forever. When he finally does respond, his voice is soft. "I tried to read about engineering on wikipedia and got bored," he says. "But I like you anyway."

Jared almost can't believe he heard right, and snaps his head up. Jensen is smiling, wistful and even a little sad, and he leans over and gives Jared a slow, long kiss.

"I like DVDs, and picnics, and if I ever meet your parents I'm probably going to punch them. I can't believe anyone could do that to their kids. But I still really like you, Jared. And it's amazing, what you're doing."

"That's what Misha keeps telling me," Jared says, flushing.

"You might like the jazz quartet better," Jensen says, shifting closer and putting his arm around Jared's shoulders. "Classical isn't for everyone."

Jared smiles. "It's not bad, just--dull."

Jensen snorts. "See, that's just not true. Alona's concert was just the wrong classical music. We're gonna find something you like, man, trust me."

"Oh goodie," says Jared, laughing. "Sounds like _fun_."

Jensen grins, and leans in for another kiss. "You're looking forward to it." He sobers, reaching over to push a few strands of Jared's hair behind his ear. "Thanks," he says. "For telling me."

"I should have just told you in the first place," says Jared, shrugging a little awkwardly. "I just--it's tough to talk about."

"Yeah," says Jensen. "So, let's eat."

Jared smiles, ducking his head. He's so relieved he's a little dizzy with it--Jensen _knows_. Jensen knows and he doesn't mind.

And jazz violin? Isn't half bad.

Jared meets Jensen for coffee on Monday morning, buying him another ridiculous froofy drink.

"You know I don't get these because I can't afford them, right?" Jared asks.

"Yeah," says Jensen. "I'm going to keep buying them for you anyway," he says, shrugging. "Deal with it. You're my boyfriend, I get you coffee." He takes a sip of coffee, deliberately casual. "You're my boyfriend now, by the way."

Jared smiles. "So I heard."

"Glad we got that sorted out." Jensen yawns hugely. "So, you're coming out today, right?"

"Well, if anyone asks about you, I'm not going to lie. Does that count?"

"If you're stressed out and worried about getting punched, it counts." He smiles. "We still meeting at the library after you're done?"

Jared laughs. "I can't believe we have a date to read and do our homework together. That's sad."

"Or it means we're comfortable with each other and willing to work around each other's schedules to spend time together," says Jensen. "So it means we're awesome, pretty much." He glances at his watch. "I gotta go," he says, leaning over to give Jared a kiss. "I'll see you tonight? And good luck."

"Thanks," says Jared. "I'll walk out with you."

It's a nice day out--the first week of May, and not a cloud in the sky. Jared's job is going to suck when the nice weather ends, as he's learned it pretty much always does in Boston, but for now, it's a good day.

"Dude, look who's back from the dead," Chad says, when he sees Jared. "You look happy."

Jared smiles, stretches. He's a little tired, a little fragile, maybe a little worried. But he's better things too.

"Yeah," he says, nodding. "I think it's going to be a good day."


	4. Epilogue

_Three Months Later_

"Kal, I swear to God--" Jensen says, as the dog runs around his feet.

"Kal, come over here," says Jared, whistling, and the dog instantly obeys.

"He likes you more than he likes me," Jensen grumbles with a smile. "My own dog has betrayed me."

"You like me more than you like yourself," Jared points out, grinning. "So it's only fair."

"I guess that's true," says Jensen. "Can you get the door?"

Jensen has a giant platter filled with what looks like enough meat to make four cows, at the bare minimum. Jared has seen the guest list for this party, though, so he's not actually sure this is enough.

"Doesn't getting the door count as helping?"

"You're a fucking brat," says Jensen, laughing. "Door."

"Hey, I'm just trying to follow orders," says Jared sweetly, getting in front of Jensen to hold the door open and following him out into the backyard after he he's through. " _You_ told me I wasn't allowed to help."

"It's your birthday," says Jensen. "I'm throwing the party. Danneel and Genevieve are going to show up to help soon anyway, and then I won't even need you to hold doors open."

"So then I just get to lie in the grass and let the dog jump on me?"

"Sure," says Jensen, after a weird, short pause.

"Seriously, are you okay?" Jared asks. Jensen's been acting kind of shifty about the party, and Jared's a little confused.

"I'm fine," says Jensen, with a small smile. He leans over and gives Jared a kiss. "Just worrying about the party."

"You know I won't care if the party sucks, right?" asks Jared. "Also, the party _won't_ suck, but even if it does, I will be happy. So, deep breaths, don't worry."

"Thanks, mom," says Jensen dryly. Jared hears the doorbell ringing from in the house. "Go get the door for me?" he requests. "It's probably Danneel and Genevieve to save me from myself."

"You're doing fine," Jared says, rolling his eyes and heading back inside. The dog, of course, is going crazy by the door, and Jared has to shoo him out of the way to even get to it. It's really true--Kal is adorable, and Jared dotes on him, but the dog is _dumb_. "Coming, coming," Jared calls, pulling Kal away from the door by his collar. "Hey gir--" he stops as he sees a pair of very male legs, and looks up to see that the person at the door isn't Danneel or Genevieve.

It's his big brother.

"Jeff?" he breathes, surprised and more than a little confused. He feels a little like he got the wind knocked out of him, or like he got punched. If it's possible to feel that in a good way.

"Hey, JT," says Jeff, smiling and crouching down so he can pat Kal. "Long time no see."

"What are you doing here?"

"Your boyfriend invited me," Jeff says, giving Jared a smile like he really missed him. "He said it was going to be an awesome party."

"Jensen?" Jared asks. His brain is sluggish, having trouble keeping up with what's happening.

"Yeah," says Jeff, softly. "I didn't know what happened, Jared. Mom said you left, and I asked her where you went, why, and--you know, she just told me you had made your choices and didn't want to be part of the family anymore."

Jared swallows, feeling himself tear up. "That's what she said?" he asks.

"Yeah. I tried to find you a few times, googling and stuff, but--nothing. And then a few weeks ago, I got an e-mail from Jensen asking if I was your brother. I guess he didn't want to tell you, in case I turned out to be a homophobic douchebag too."

Jared looks behind him, out toward the back door, where he knows Jensen is even though he can't see him.

"I figured I owed you a lot of back birthday presents. So, you know. This is me, making up for lost time."

"Oh," Jared says. He licks his lips and then gives up, leaning over to give his big brother a hug.

"Megan misses you too," Jeff says, hugging back. "I tried to get her down here, but I couldn't come up with an excuse for mom and dad. But I'm working on it."

"You're staying for the party?" Jared asks.

"I'm here for the weekend," says Jeff. "Couldn't get any more time off work, but I figured you could show me some of the sights."

Jared grins. "Yeah, I can do that." He gets up, looking back toward the door. "So, you can either come out and meet Jensen right now, or you can wait in here, because I'm probably going to jump him as soon as I see him." He clears his throat. "I mean, because I'm grateful to him for doing this for me. I don't uncontrollably pounce on my boyfriend every time I see him."

Jeff laughs. "Yeah, I got that. I'll come out with you--I'm pretty eager to meet the guy. In person, I mean."

Jared whistles for the dog, and the three of them head out to the back, where Jensen is poking at the tray of meat even though he isn't actually _doing_ anything to it.

Jared can't help cracking up. "You were totally just waiting out here because you didn't want to interrupt us, weren't you?"

"Yup," says Jensen, not bothering to deny it. "I need to get s--"

Jared cuts him off with a kiss, which Jensen has yet to object to, and they get a little lost in it before Jensen pulls back, laughing.

"Maybe we should be good hosts instead of horndogs," he says, laughing and extending his hand to Jeff. "Hi, I'm Jensen. Nice to finally meet you."

"You too," Jeff agrees. "Thanks for taking care of my brother."

"Oh, mostly he takes care of himself," Jensen says, grinning. "Surprisingly competent, really."

"Thanks, honey," Jared says dryly. "Means the world to me."

"Shut up and go catch up with your brother. I'm going to go get the coleslaw."

  


Jeff hits on Genevieve about five seconds after she shows up, with she takes with grace, and which Danneel thinks is hilarious, and after that they all fall into easy conversation. Jensen relents and allows Jared to help grill, which makes Jared feel better about his lack of productivity.

Chad and Misha seem to be hitting it off, which Jared finds mildly terrifying, and Jensen's ex Tom shows up with not-really-homeless Michael, which he thinks is going to be an issue, but Jensen doesn't seem to care. And that's actually really cool, when Jared thinks about it.

"Why is your ex at my birthday party again?" he asks anyway.

"Because he wanted to hang out, and I wanted to show off my hot new boyfriend who is better than him in all ways," says Jensen smugly. "Also, we were pretty much friends by the end, and I wanted to see if we could hang out without being awkward. In retrospect, I should have checked with you first."

"You did show me the guestlist," Jared notes. "I don't actually mind." He rests his chin on Jensen's shoulder, watching him grill. "Did I tell you thanks for calling my brother?"

"You did," says Jensen, leaning back against him. "I don't mind being thanked more, though. I never say no to thanks."

"I feel like you're angling for a blowjob."

"Yeah, always," says Jensen. "But not in front of our guests. Danneel made me promise in college that I would never make her look at my dick."

Jared laughs. "I wish I had a close friend who supported me and was terrified of my penis."

"Instead, you have Chad."

"Instead, I have Chad," Jared agrees. "I think he and Misha are bonding. I'm terrified."

"Yeah, that's going to end badly for everyone," Jensen agrees. He smiles. "So, how's it feel to be twenty-one?"

"Pretty good," says Jared. "I feel like it's not official until I buy myself some alcohol."

"Well, the night is young," says Jensen. "Still plenty of time for you to get drunk and make bad decisions."

"Eh," says Jared. "The day's going so well, why ruin it with throwing up and bad drunk sex?"

Jensen laughs. "Glad you're having fun. I'm kind of regretting it, though."

"Yeah?" asks Jared, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, yeah," says Jensen. "I mean, I got your estranged brother to visit _and_ threw you an awesome party. There is no way I'm going to top this next year."

Jared's stomach does a little flip at Jensen's casual mention of _next year_ , the idea that they're going to still be together then, that Jensen wants to be. From the slight flush on his cheeks, Jared can tell Jensen is thinking about the same thing.

"Nope," Jared agrees, cheerful. "Absolutely no way you're ever going to top this."

"I hope you're ready for years of disappointment," says Jensen, grinning.

Jared laughs. "Can't wait."


End file.
